An old man goes into a restaurant and is seated. All the waitresses are gorgeous. A particulary voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt and has legs that won't quit, came to his table and asked if he was ready to order, "What would you like, sir?" He looks at the menu and them scans her beautiful frame from top to bottom, then answers, "A quickie." The waitress turns and walks away in disgust. After she regains her composure, she returns and asks again, "What would you like, sir?" Again the old man thoroughly checks her out and again answers, "A quickie, please." This time her anger takes over, she reaches over and slaps him across the face with a resounding "SMACK!" and storms away.
A man sitting at the next table leans over and whispers, "Um, I'm pretty sure it's pronounced 'quiche'."