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Charter Member
6,663 Posts
[QUOTE I was wondering if it's safe to start with the "Blonde" jokes....~chuckling~

SM[/QUOTE]I wouldn't advise it, pal, She still pops up in here from time to time and so does Stacy Weeks. Not to mention Fishin' Chick. No, I think you'd be well advised to keep 'em under yer tongue! :D

5,599 Posts
LMAO Darrell your quite the agitatior (sp?) ...............................later,Dave

Premium Member
40,469 Posts
Ok, I have to try

Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been sighted.

Q: How did the blonde die ice fishing?
A: She was run over by the zambonis machine.
(note from Bill: for you REAL blondes out there that is the machine that makes ice in the ice-skating rinks!).

OK, I give..........no more. If I make too many cracks about hair color, mine just might ALL leave.

5,296 Posts
Discussion Starter · #15 ·
This should get the ball rolling.....

There were three women, a Brunette, a Red Head, and a Blonde. They all worked together at an office.
Every day they noticed that their boss left work a little early. So one day they met together and decided that today when the boss left, they would all leave early too.
The boss left and so did they. The Brunette went home and straight to bed so could get an early start the next morning. The Red Head went home to get in a quick work out before her dinner date. The Blonde went home and walked into the bedroom. She opens the door slowly and saw her husband in bed with her boss, so she shut the door and left.
The next day, the Brunette and the Red Head are talking about going home early again. They ask the Blonde if she wants to leave early again.
"No," she says, "yesterday I nearly got caught!"

Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.

Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?
A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!

Q1 How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out on the screen.
Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's writing on the white-out.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.

Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer?
A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get channel 9.

Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's.

Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?
A: Branch Manager.

Q: What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have?
A: One that never misses a period.

Q: Why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists?
A: The rest are hunt'n peckers.

Q: How can you tell which blonde is the waitress?
A: She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she did with her pencil.

Q: What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (reading her name tag) ?
A: "'Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one ?"

Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?
A: Branch Manager.

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!" In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"

The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"
"I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.

Q: Why won't they hire a blonde pharmacist?
A: They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde works in an office?
A: A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the bosses' faces.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and your job?
A: Your job still sucks after 6 months.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?
A: She has a checkbook.

Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?
A: There is a stamp on it. A blonde saw a "¿" on her computer screen and asked another blonde,
"How do you do that?" She responded . . .
"Simple, turn the keyboard upside down!"

5,296 Posts
Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Kim Kim Kim Kim......

What's this, a zinger? You know I can't let that slide without a slight retort. Chew on these a while..~chuckling~

A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, " Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!" The officer looks at her, then says, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."

Q: What do you call a blonde in a Volkswagen?
A: FarFromThinking

Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.

Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an "F" in sex.

A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT".
After thinking for a minute, she said to herself "oh well !" and turned around an drove home.
On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES".
By the time she drove eight miles, shehad cleaned 43 restrooms.

Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working?
A: Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.

A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.

Q: What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW?
A: Divorcee'

The Unites States government has issued a recall on all cars and trucks that have a headlight dimmer switch on the turn signal switch. The purpose for this is to cut the traffic accidents at night by 90%. Apparently that the 90% that they plan to cut is from blonds, because they keep getting their foot stuck in the steering wheel. Q: Why can't a blonde get a drivers license?
A: Because every time the instructor says "Let's park" she jumps in the back seat.

The Ole Reprobate
799 Posts
One more

" Two blonde girls were seen in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of a Mercedes with a coat hanger.
" I can't seem to get this door unlocked," one said.
" Well, you had bettery try harder," replied the second.
" It's starting to rain, and the top is down."

I just had to do it Kim
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