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Member when we usta.......?
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Our oldest is 23, a college graduate, and finally got a paying job. She is looking for her own place but is still living at home. She is by no means a freeloader or lazy. She's very responsible and a hard worker.

I want my kids to be self sufficient and live in the 'real world' and take on their adult responsibilities. It was a pretty easy decision for my folks. I decided to drop out of college, get married, and have kids. I knew when I did that I was off the financal tit. It's a little harder when they're doing everything right.
 

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We all make different choices, we allowed ours to stay at home, BUT They did NOT like our rules. So they flew the coop. Now the three oldest are married and the youngest son is single and has his own place. Youngest daughter lives with her BIO mom for now. I see her having her own place real soon since she started college and working.
We are moving out of country so im glad we dont have anybody else to move out.
We love them, but its time they grow up, we teach them the best we can to be self sufficient, and then they gotta get going!!! We still do things to help them, but first they got to help themselves.
Dont wanna be an enabler.
 

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Imo

Never ! My son moved out a year ago and although he has never come to us for money I will still by clothes here and there, shoes when I can find them in a sz.18, and other stuff. I'm proud of him and will never stop. Don't let him know or his friends because people will think he's a MaMa's boy! LOL

Stacy
 

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You could always come up with some new curfew rules that would encourage her to move out. Or, get her to pay a 1/3 of the bills.
 

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Live Like No One Else.
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I am not sure I can say much about this. But I have been off the financal tit since I got a job. I do still live at home but pay rent and mow the yard. Some might think this is crazy but I have been able to save alot of money.

I was told I was welcome to live at the house at long as I wanted as long as I work and willing to pay rent.
 

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Member when we usta.......?
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
StacyW said:
Never ! My son moved out a year ago and although he has never come to us for money I will still by clothes here and there, shoes when I can find them in a sz.18, and other stuff. I'm proud of him and will never stop. Don't let him know or his friends because people will think he's a MaMa's boy! LOL

Stacy
Stacy, you sound alot like MrsG.LOL
 

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I Would Start Wiening Them Off There Senior Year In High School. I Would Pay For College Related Expenses And Make Them Pay For Gas, Cell Phone, Car Payment/insurance. After College I Would Drop Everyhting But Still Offer Only If They Were In A Bind.
 

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Save a Goat, Ride a Cowgirl!!!
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Tough one!!!

I would have to say at any point after they turn 18 that they stop listening to SUGGESTIONS OF WISDOM AND EXPERIENCE. LOL

My dad always says, "I ain't your mama and I ain't your bank, figure it out son."

I'm 37 now and my kids do exactly what I used to do. Just ask mama when dad ain't around. LOL

Brad
 

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Whenever you and MrsG decide to let them grow up.
 
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Such a loaded question... My rules are or were just this... If they have a job and live at home they pay rent and do their part and play by our rules. Wash clean house etc. Its not a hotel. When the move out they are on their own. Now you will always be buying little things for your kids no matter how old they are but regular financal support no..If there is justification for for some money help such as something that was a surprise and in no way their fault you can help with the understanding that they will pay you back. When my family loaned me money there was a signed paper with interest and all included. Thats just good business and part of "growing up" And something else that you dont see much of these days called "accountability"

Charlie
 

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I'll keep my gun...You keep the change
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I have figured out it is up to the kid....we have three sons and one is on his own and has never asked or even hinted to the fact that he is not alright with his financial situation....on the other hand my middle son is the exact opposite...never has any money always needs a ride to and from somewhere cause his car is a piece of sh#$...The oldest is 30 this year...the middle is 28....like daylight and dark....one has a new house, two new vehicles, three new four wheelers and two kids to boot....the middle son has no pot and no window to throw it out of.....the jury is still out on number three son for he is only 12....we have no idea where we made the mistake with #2...but we are working on #3.....

If the child is doing good in there accomplishments or goals in life... then I think that the proverbial plate should never be broken. Now having said that.....The plate on #2 has been broken since last year....and that my friend was the hardest thing as a parent that I have ever had to do.....you get the phone call needing this or a ride to that and having to tell your child that you cant help is very difficult to stomach
but the wife is very supportive in these situations

So to answer your question......no never brake that plate...............let the child do it
 

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Grand Master of Thread Kill
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The Captain said:
We all make different choices, we allowed ours to stay at home, BUT They did NOT like our rules. So they flew the coop.
that worked on me. between the rules and the workload dad put on me around the "place" (farm) when i didn't have a "steady" job.

the old man hated running the air conditioner too. i got real tired of sleeping wet.

its been about 15 yrs now since i asked them for anything and i wouldn't change a thing.
 

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Cut 'em!
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I never moved back in with my parents for more than a summer after I left for my first semester of college....and I never asked for money. Didn't mean I didn't need and get help from the folks..... they could see when I had a legitimate need and helped me out as much as they could. I've never been one to ask my folks for money. When we got married, my wife's mom (her father was deceased) wasn't able to afford much of a wedding, she helped where she could but just wasn't a lot, my folks took care of quite a bit that they didn't have to.

Guess what I'm tryin to say MrG. is that much like Mrs. Stacy (and my mom too!) you may not necessarily pay her rent .......but help her out in lots of little ways that make big differences in her quality of life. ;-)
 

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Member when we usta.......?
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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
One thing I have noticed while in the process of raising five is that no two are the same or make the same decisions even while raised under the same circumstances. Our oldest has always seemed to make solid decisions since she was small. She worked the whole time she was in college and paid most of her persona bills while there. I couldn't be prouder of her.

She does do her share and then some around the house, makes her own car payment, and never asks for spending money. Like some of you have said, as long as her attitude is good and she follows the house rules I have no problem helping her out.

Her little brother, on the other hand, is getting kind of tired of sleeping on the couch.


Thanks for all the great input.
 

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Heritage, not Hate
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I had a job when I was 16. I was given my first car, but had to pay for the gas and 1/2 of the insurance each month. My parents also required me to put a part of each paycheck into my savings account.

I am so grateful to my parents for teaching me to save early and be responsible with my money.
 

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i dunno .... it depends on how good of a mechanic, electrician, plumber, house cleaner, yard person, errand runner, grocery shopper and cook he or she is.
 

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Borders, language, culture
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Lots of tuff talk here. Hey, if she has a job secured and is looking for a place to move into, I say give her some slack. If you're nice to your kids they might feed you and run and get your depends undergarments for you when your an old geezer.
 

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We all have it coming......
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Mine is 14 and already having to save his own money for a lot of his toys. Needs to understand all this fun costs money. But, definitely when they are out of college or decide they don't want to go. At that point, it's time to grow up. I'm not a against helping out later if they get in a bind. Stuff happens! But, that's only gonna happen once. You can't continue to bail out bad decisions. If you do, they won't ever stop making them.

Just my thought.
 

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I guess it was easy for me when I was that age. My folks never had anything to give, but love. Mom lived in a small apartment with my sister, Dad was across town with a new wife and baby....no thanks!

Two weeks after getting back from college I had a job and never looked back.

Now, my in-laws had one stay at home off and on until 40. :)
 
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