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3,657 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
1. My husband and I divorced over religious
differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every
minute of it.
3. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare
Depend on Me!
4. Some people are alive only because it's
illegal to kill them.
5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

6. Don't take life too seriously; no one ! gets out alive.
7. You're just jealous because the voices
only talk to me
8. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
9. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
10. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts
are missing.

11. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-
the-room- spinning medicine.
13. God must love stupid people; He made
so many.
14. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
15. Consciousness: That annoying time
between naps.

16. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
17. Being "over the hill" is much better than being
under it!
18. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted
to Be When I Grew up.
19. Procrastinate Now!
20. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want
Fries With That?

21. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
22. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
23. Stupidity is not a handicap.
Park elsewhere!
24.They call it PMS because MadCow Disease
was already taken.
25. He who dies with the most toys is
nonetheless dead.
26. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up
three thousand times the memory.
27. Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime
commitment for a pig.
28. The trouble with life is there's no
background music.
29. The original point and click interface was a
Smith and Wesson.
30. I smile because I don't know what the
hell is going on.

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