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Chillin'
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4,570 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
As seen in a dog's diary:




8am -- Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!

9am -- Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!

10am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!

11am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!

Noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!

1pm -- Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!

3pm -- Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!

4pm -- Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!

5pm -- Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!

7pm -- Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!

9pm -- Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!



As seen in a cat's diary:




Day 183 of my captivity...

  • My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
  • They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
  • The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
  • Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.
  • Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded -- must try this at the top of the stairs.
  • In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair -- must try this on their bed.
  • Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.
  • There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn more about what this is, and how to use it to my advantage.
  • I am convinced the other captives are flunkies, or more likely snitches.
  • The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.
  • The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, for now his safety is assured.
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But I can wait … it is only a matter of time...
 

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Registered
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101 Posts
LOL, LOL, wife now LOL, Kids now LOL....
 

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Registered
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5,498 Posts
Good One!!! some dogs got it made...Owners too.......

Our old outside tom-cat could add a few pages to that Diary...

Heres one...

Dear Diary....
That spotted spoiled rotton brat attention getting.. thinks hes so cool Dawg of theirs got a big dose of Humble this morning when he came too close and found out that I have TACKS in my feet...


Should have seen him squeal like a little puppy....
Oh..the Joy! I'm Soooo Purring.


Pass by me with caution...sucker!
The old Mans Lawnmower seat belongs to ME!!!!
 

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Kayak Fisher
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7,566 Posts
OOPS! I'm overdrawn, too.

"You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to pelican again."
 

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That DamnYankee!!
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4,077 Posts
  • The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.
  • The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, for now his safety is assured. :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :wink:
Jeff
 

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Chest deep in the Blanco River
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1,838 Posts
Good stuff! How long have you been spying on my dog :)
 
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