2 Cool Fishing Forum banner

1 - 20 of 26 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,215 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Actually it is my father in-law. Mid 80s and he gets lost coming home from the store. Mystery dents on his truck pop up more regularly. Last week he drove through his own fence and back into a neighbors car all in the same day. A couple days ago we took his truck away and today he is threatening to call it in stolen. We are providing for all his transportation needs other wise. We fear for others on the road as well as him.

For those who have been through this, how do we make the transition with out further complications? Time is important here. Thanks Gary
 

·
POC chunker
Joined
·
9,209 Posts
Does he have a Doctor's who's opinion he respects? A lot of times getting the doc involved and having him hear it from a pro will carry more weight than hearing it from a family member. If not a doctor, maybe his pastor if he's a churchgoer along the lines of he's endangering his fellow man.
 

·
Typical Texan
Joined
·
8,415 Posts
We went through that with my wifes granmother not too many years back. She was 89 and there wasn't a yellow post in the walmart parking lot that hadn't left some paint on her car at some point over the previous 9 months. The sad thing is that the transition from fairly competant driving to all out terror on wheels is a very short timeframe.

It ended up that her insurance cancelled her and one of the local Friendswood PD took the time and effort to come by and counsel her and convince her that it was time that she stop driving. Unfortunetly, as caring relatives, there really isn't any avenue for you to force them to stop driving.
 

·
El Viejo
Joined
·
23,417 Posts
Bozo has the correct idea...if your FIL still has enough wits about him to understand that he CANNOT drive without Insurance. Had the same conversation with my own Dad about 30 years ago and was fortunate that he understood the insurance deal.. He had totaled 3 cars in the preceeding 6 months and the ins. companys refused (rightfully) to insure anything he might drive.. He still never gave up on nagging me to just get him a little something to drive, though.Think losing your driving priveledges is the final indignity to an older person...Complete loss of independence...

Sorry to think that my kids will prolly be having the same conversation with me in the next 10 years...and hope I can accept the facts (but I probably WON'T..LOL)

Good luck, DH...you're gonna need it..lol

another old geezer.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
16 Posts
Drivers License

You may find an avenue of help on the Texas DPS website under Driver License Division. There's a recent ruling affecting the issuance of drivers licenses to persons 79 and older (to provide the opportunity to retest before reissue of licenses to older drivers). The ruling is referred to as Katies Law. It's pretty well explained on the website.
Good luck.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
30,684 Posts
i went through this with my father in 1999. after i'd had enough, and as much as i hated to do it, i took his keys away and simply told dad that it wasn't safe for him to drive anymore. i never heard another word about it.

i miss my father. he was a wonderful man.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,993 Posts
My FIL is going through the same thing. A doctor told him it was time for him to stop driving but he didn't want to stop. My MIL thinks he should be able still drive but my BIL took the keys and truck and now it's not an issue except to listen to him complain about it. They live in a small town and my BIL was getting phone calls about my FIL driving off after pumping gas because he thougt he had done the card right. It is a tough decision to make and I don't look forward to making it with my dad either. Good luck.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,611 Posts
My wife tries to take my truck away and I am still young. She was trying to take my truck 30 years ago. Guess who has had the most wrecks. Even though I drive three times as much as she does and the only wreck I have had was when the axle broke on my boat trailer. She thinks her three wrecks involving other people don't count. She was ticketed for two of them. She will have to pry the keys from my cold dead hands.
Pat
 

·
RIP Sandollr
Joined
·
2,526 Posts
1st of all, don't listen to Pat, he's still a young geezer. I had to do the same thing to my Dad and Tortuga is right, sometimes it's the last straw for them. There have been some good ideas offered for you to think about and Katie's Law is probably one of the best things to happen, though I would question the age because it is different in every case. I wish I would have known about 2coolers back then, it would have helped to get some advice. There is no easy way to explain the hurt they suffer everytime something has to be taken away or done for them. Please have patience and be glad you still have him, I miss my Dad everyday.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
25 Posts
It's a tough thing to deal with. My mother is still fighting the whole losing her licence thing..been about 4 months now. But she has been diagnosed with early stages Alzheimer. Where she lives in Canada, by law her dr had to recomend her to be tested by the drivers licence people. She went in and didn't pass the test.

Her dr is the bad guy in this scenerio.. we just have to listen over and over about what a good driver she was for 50yrs..its a hard thing to get thru..
sorry for you all.. that stage of life is not fun..
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
696 Posts
I'm already having this conversation with my mom, she's 59. Many dissabilities, handi plates, etc. She knows it's coming too. My wife thinks I should have already done it. Too many ways to look at this to see it clearly from anywhere. Good luck.
later, biggreen
 

·
Emorys Daddy
Joined
·
1,376 Posts
My grandfather (85) has macular degeneration (spelling?) and can't see much at all. He failed his drivers test in may with my Mom there and he blamed her for taking him to the wrong place, as he felt his small town office would have given it to him. Got a wavier or something from his doctor and they gave him a 6 year license ( in his town). I can't even get one of those. Two at fault accidents in last 18 months but he knows everything and everyone else knows nothing. Gets combative when we talk of them moving closer to big town for medical reasons, but we are being patient. If someone tried to take my independence away, I would fight it too, and there is the caveat.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
30,684 Posts
i was driving down highway 3 from texas city to dickinson last night. i was approaching the century blvd intersection when this car pulled up on century, stopped, then pulled right out in front of me when i was about 100 feet away and going 50 mph.

i locked up my brakes and skidded, and i couldn't have missed plowing into the right rear of the car by more than 3 feet. i honked and flashed my lights, then the car just proceeded down hwy 3 at about 40 mph as if nothing had happened.

when we got up to the light at hughes road and 3, i pulled up alongside the car to give 'em a piece of my mind, and i saw it was some old lady about 80 years old who could barely see over the steering wheel. i didn't say anything.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
938 Posts
daddyhoney said:
Actually it is my father in-law. Mid 80s and he gets lost coming home from the store. Mystery dents on his truck pop up more regularly. Last week he drove through his own fence and back into a neighbors car all in the same day. A couple days ago we took his truck away and today he is threatening to call it in stolen. We are providing for all his transportation needs other wise. We fear for others on the road as well as him.

For those who have been through this, how do we make the transition with out further complications? Time is important here. Thanks Gary
I would get a lawyer and start working on taking ownership of all his accts, assets etc. Power of attorney its called or somelthing like that. My moms family had to do that with her dad because he started meeting people in places and selling off his things. One day he walked home and reported his truck stolen and when they found the guy driving his truck he said he bought it. Which was true cuz he had a paper saying my grandpa sold it to him LOL.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
383 Posts
We had to do that last June to my FIL , because he went to town to pick hia wife up at beauty shop and he ended up 150 miles away in Arkansas lost at a gas station, he did not like taking keys away but we go along with it, I finnaly told him his truck was in shop and would be 2 weeks befor it got fixed he forgot about it for awahile we had to put him in home for Alz patients he died 2 months later, IT IS NOT A FUN THING TO DO with older parents
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
771 Posts
I had that conversation w/mom last weekend. She's still ok to drive, just wanted to probe the subject. It'll be easier to move her to a nursing home than take the keys away. I can certainly understand, though.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
49 Posts
New to the forum but this is something I am familiar with. Last year I had to get my 81 year old grandfather off the road. A year later he still thinks he should be driving. I went by my local DPS office and they had a 1 page form I filled out and turned in with some of his information (address, phone #, age and so on). Within two or three weeks they had sent him a letter informing him that he had to come in and take a driving test or he would automaticly lose his license. Fortunately the first thing they did was give him the eye test, which he failed, and that ended the entire ordeal.
When they contacted him about taking the test they did not give him a reason just that he needed come and take a test. He thought it was because he had been in an accident a couple months before. All worked out and we did not need a doctor or any further documentation. The entire family feels better that he is off the road, but it was still a sad day when failed the test.
Hope this helps with your situation.
 

·
RIP Sandollr
Joined
·
2,526 Posts
browing68 said:
New to the forum but this is something I am familiar with. Last year I had to get my 81 year old grandfather off the road. A year later he still thinks he should be driving. I went by my local DPS office and they had a 1 page form I filled out and turned in with some of his information (address, phone #, age and so on). Within two or three weeks they had sent him a letter informing him that he had to come in and take a driving test or he would automaticly lose his license. Fortunately the first thing they did was give him the eye test, which he failed, and that ended the entire ordeal.
When they contacted him about taking the test they did not give him a reason just that he needed come and take a test. He thought it was because he had been in an accident a couple months before. All worked out and we did not need a doctor or any further documentation. The entire family feels better that he is off the road, but it was still a sad day when failed the test.
Hope this helps with your situation.
Pretty good info on a 1st post!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,919 Posts
My 81 year old father is showing signs of forgetfulness and am fighting him for reasons due to his age. Drives an F250 Supercab. When we go places in his truck I take the keys. When he ask why my reply is "Cuz I am a better driver and you should enjoy the scenery". Its going to happen soon though.
 
1 - 20 of 26 Posts
Top