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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
What to do when you get a flat tire...Texas style

A good ol' boy had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and
proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of his pickup truck and one
behind it. Then just stood back and waited.

A passerby from the city studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he
turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.

The fellow replied, "Flat tire."

In response the passerby asked, "But, what's with the flowers?"

The man responded, "When ya' break down they tell ya' to put flares in the front
and flares in the back. I ain't never understood it neither." :headknock
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I understand that the same principle works in the following states as well: WV, NC, SC, GA, KY, AL, TN, and many others that need "Flares."
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I will have you know trhat the best tomatoes (Maters) are grown right here in the "Garden State." They are so sweet that when ripe you can eat em, like apples.

And by the way, Who's gonna be doin' that Whuppin' ???
 

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Whaaaaaaat??

Drumbo said:
I will have you know trhat the best tomatoes (Maters) are grown right here in the "Garden State." They are so sweet that when ripe you can eat em, like apples.QUOTE]

The Garden State??


HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Wher ya'll grow 'em?? on the subway??


Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
 

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Youse guys watch it!

I'M PRETTY SURE THAT YOU'RE AWARE OF THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE A WHOLE BRIGADE OF TEXANS WATCHING OVER YOUR POSTS!

(of course everyone knows I'm just kidding here!)
 

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Your right AJ

Everybody is watching me and my 'ol white haired buddy poke fun at each other.

He's alright even if he don't eat no grits


Hey Drumbo, grits and maters go good together.
 

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now you listen hear you city slicker, we southern people can whupp your tail end in aheart beat.... crazy tender feets........ haha................ j/k....... thats funny man.... TIME TO ******* UP!!!........................JJ
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Just have one thing to say, 'Jumper:' "Iffn' Ya' give it, Ya' gotta' take it And The Good Lord above Knows i can take alot more than you Texans,Tarheels, or West ,By God Virginians can dish up!! But like the (Choke-cough,cough) Fishman says, it is all just in good fun, so as "George W," says "Bring em on!" By the way, ask who got Skunked on the Banks last Oct., and who caught fish??
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
WVAMEDIC said:
Garden State?? I thought "Joisy" was a EPA toxic waste site???
Only in North Jersey! We have been trying to get them to leave the Union for years...........You know that ther state Bird is the Mosquitoe, and that they also have a state smell........The residue of the Oil Refineries
 

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I thought Jersey was a subburb of NY anyway.

Last time (I hope) I was in Toms River those trains took you straight to the subway. Got off in the WTC basement. Trains, subway...its all the same to this southern boy. Strange place it was. All those people in a hurry, talking all fast and funny. Cotton pickin' high strung bunch they were... Didn't see no mater plants growing either. :)

BTW, Got the strangest look in a Toms River resturant when I asked for "sweet tea". Ya'll got sugar that far nawth? That tea was nasty. Wuz up wif dat??
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
The Geography of Joisey

Ya gotta 'Understand there are 4 distinct parts of the state. North Jersey,(the worst), South Jersey, and The Shore. Then there is the farm part in the interior part of the state and that is where all the great Veggies come from. Hence, the Garden state which was originaly made up of scads of small farms called "Truck Farms" Now they are few and far between and have been taken over by corporate giants or sold off to developers

The Shore region as you would imagine is the tourist trap of the East with all the neat little things to snag peoples money while on vacation, including at least 4000 Mini golf courses. Nobody can count the number of Bait and Tackle shops that exist along the coast from Manasquan to Cape May as they add and subtract with the wind direction. Lots of Mater gardens as the sandy soil produces wonderful acidity and huge 'Big Boy", 'Early Girl", and "Jersey Beefstake" Tomatos

Its North Jersey you have to watch out for as they have it all except anything that is legal. Nobody knows the real population count as the immigrants rarely if ever get counted. No Maters!

Then their is the dock areas and the New York Bedroom Areas which is another area to stay out of . No Maters there either. Just Rats and Roaches big enough to carry away your best fishin' tackle.
Mean people live there too

But South Jersey and the inland areas are still major veggie producing areas, and again feature rich, sandy soil which also grows great corn. Another Jersey Delacacy.

I don't know a lot about Texas but when I was in SanAntonio last year I didn't see much growin'around there or anywhere near it. I kept lookin for the Lone Ranger and Tonto but could only find the remains of Sam Huston and the Alamo.

I know NC and what they got there besides the Fishman and I believe all you can do with that stuff is smoke it and pick it to spin on an old spinnin 'wheel for Grandma to make a quilt or some such like that. Never did see maters mixed in with all that cotton and Tobacco.

Next time we get toghether I'll bring some Jersey Maters and we will compare to see who has the best...........We'll Make Bubba the Judge.

Hey Philly, How bout gettin in on this and tellin' these Guys what good is.........

































 

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"Waaaal" as John Wayne would say ....

I was in San Antonio, too!

Twice!
 

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Yeah...

I vacationed in San Antonio & Dallas several years ago. I'll take the LONE STAR STATE over the GARDEN VARIETY STATE any day.

I had great, friendly service everywhere I went in Texas, better than in Nawth Carolina or Joisey.


And Al...I knew all that. I just wanted to hear you say it...


(even if you streched it a bit about the maters)

Well, gotta go to the garden and check on the state of IT, not the "Garden State".
BTW Al, my maters slice so big, they swaller the bread up


 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Two times for Me Too!! First and Last!!!! HEE HEE HEE!! Actually I found the city to be very cosmopolitan with great restaurants and friendly people. Can't say much for the Alamodome, However.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Mater Sammich, Al's Style

Fresh Rye or white bread, Several slices of fresh, Juicy, and delicious Jersey Maters. Smother with Salt and Pepper then smear Oodles and Gobs of Helmans REAL Mayonaise on top. Serve with:brew2: (O'Douls of course)

one might substitute maters of the contraband type if they so desire. Holy Cow, Did I say that???? :help:

A total Cholestoral trap but preaty soon they are going to find out that everything we eat is bad for us.

Did everybody enjoy the "Boom Booms" this weekend??
 
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