[SEAHUNT186]

My cousing whom you have seen in some of my fishing reports needs a little help. Her parents are drug abusers and can't pay any bills or even buy food for that matter. I was just wondering what I could do for my part. I feel bad for her, because she is such a nice girl (age 15) and is in a horrible position. They are getting evicted tomorrow from their apartment and I offered to have her stay with us. But, of course her mother said,"NO". So, now she has to live in some POS motel and be around her drug filled parents.
I hate to sit here and do nothing. Someone at work informed me that I could report her parents to the Child Protective Service. If I did, what chance would I have to get her to stay with me? I'm not sure what to do, but any advice you might have would be greatly appreciative.

BTW, Hope you get better soon ZAC!! I know you have some painful days ahead of you, but there will be a day you can look back and say, "Man I'm glad I'm through that!!!" Get well soon.

Thanks,
STeve

 

[StinkBait]

I dont have much advice but way to step up and show a young one that someone cares about them.

 

[centexfisher]

If her parents are drug abusers, then one must suspect child abuse as well. The law requires that if anyone suspects child abuse, that they report it. Take note: it says "suspects"-it does not say that you should have evidence or any level of certainty. IF YOU SUSPECT CHILD ABUSE REPORT IT IMMEDIATELY! The law does not say that one may report it-it says that you are required to report it.

So, report it and let CPS sort it out.

Thank you for caring. The world needs more people like you.

 

[Bay Gal]

Steve,
I'd be careful about involving CPS...you never know who they will place the child with. If it's a family thing, I would talk with the girl, see if she wants to come live with you, then challenge the mom to fight it...you could remind her of your evidence of bad parenting.

If that don't work, call CPS and rally all your family on the girls behalf.

I'm not sure but I think that at that age or earlier they can decide who they want to live with...if she's approaching 16 soon, that should help also.

I applaud your efforts, just don't want the girl to suffer more trauma in unfamiliar surroundings. She's old enough to talk to, and get her opinion and buy in on any plan or proposal (IMHO). Stay strong for her and help her overcome her surroundings until you find a solution.

Just thinking out loud...but I hope you get wise counsel for the best solution. And, thanks for caring like you do.

 

[centexfisher]

A court will take a child's desire to live elsewhere under consideration, although that usually involves a non custodial parent. While you are waiting around to discuss things rationally with a drug addict and, if you can afford it, to take it to court, the child remains in a potentially dangerous environment. If the parents are busted for drugs, the child will be immediately removed from the home. If CPS investigates a case of suspected child abuse, they will do just that-investigate. They are very slow-too slow in my opinion-to remove a child from a home.

If I were to take a wait and see attitude and something happened to this young lady, I would never forgive myself. Call CPS-there is a reason why the law has the requirement to call CPS if child abuse is suspected.

 

[pelican]

Search your heart, Steve, and talk to your cousin. What does she want? What are you willing to do? I think after you know those answers, you'll be ready to take the appropriate actions. I don't envy your position ... loving your cousin and wanting her to be cared for is laudable. Making a longer term commitment takes a serious decision. Just my .02. I wish you wisdom and strength. You've already shown compassion.

Bob

 

[SEAHUNT186]

Thanks everyone for your info. I know what she wants already. She's told me several times how she wants to be away from her parents. She was upset to hear her mom tell her she wasn't allowed to stay with me. I did offer to her to atleast stay with me anytime to atleast get away from that atmosphere for awhile. She could just use the excuse of babysitting my little one.
My father told me of how her mom actually informed her how, where, and whom to buy drugs from. What kinda garbage is that??? I don't know how she has become such a wonderful person with that kinda trash around her. Makes me want to get her away from there that much more.
Steve

 

[Avid reader]

Steve, BayGal 's advice is sound. You NEVER know what CPS willl do. One poster said they are too slow and I know that at times he's correct. In contrast, in Ft. Bend Col they have in the past been WAY too fast and often totally mistaken. May God give you wisdom, courage, and patience as you strive to make your cousin's life better.

Avid

 

[Freshwaterman]

Don't be afraid of CPS, that has been my experience. Have her come to stay with you on the basis of babysitting, or whatever. Have a chat wih CPS and follow their directions. The courts will begin to listen to children from the age of 12, so you have no worries there.

Hopefully it will never come to a confrontation in court. An experienced CPS social worker can talk the most messed up parent into relinquishing some, or all, of their parental rights.

I'm sorry that you will have to go through the pain of dealing with addicts, but always consider the well-being of your niece.

If you get into a bind, drop me a pm.

steve

 

[Snagged]

Steve,
Have her call CPS, request help, and request that she be allowed to stay with you during the investigation.

 

[mastercylinder60]

....I don't know how she has become such a wonderful person with that kinda trash around her.

sometimes kids blossom and grow in spite of the adverse conditions they face.

sounds like an ugly situation, seahunt, but it seems like you've received some solid advice above. good luck....i hope all works out well for you and your cousin. she's very lucky to have you looking out for her.

 

[Just Wad'n]

What would happen if you were to use the excuse of babysitting to get her to your home, THEN, call CPS to come and talk w/ her in a safe setting. You would be able to express your desire to help and the case worker may be more willing to make a suggestion in his/her report to let the child stay w/ you. I don't know, just a thought.

I'm w/ centex on this one. As long as she is in that atmosphere, anything could happen. Drug deals gone wrong ...happen all the time and it would be awful for this little girl to be right in the middle of it all.

Stay strong and DON'T give up on a fight like this. You may be the only thing in life that gives that little girl "light at the end of the tunnel" God Bless

 

[fishbowl365]

my daughter works for cps. do not hesitate to call.their removal strategies involve several stages of command. they would encourage the courts to let the said child stay in a stable family members care rather than a picked placement. if they choose to remove the parents won't have a say against you {family} at all.

 

[Leo]

Ditto what Fishbowl said. I work with social workers that go through this on a daily basis. CPS would much rather place the child with a stable caring family member.

 

[stargazer]

Kuddos to you Steve. I have no advice to offer as I am not sure what the correct action to take is, but my hats off to ya for wanting to do something to help this child.

 

[gager2002]

My wife and I are foster parents. Please call them form advice, if you want give no names at first. They will give good advice. Yes, if they do step in they will look for family members first to place her with. If there are none, then they will procede with other families. If you need, pm me and I will send you my number and me case worked whom I trust very much. This is very serious..... Thanks for feeling the way yuo do.

Richard

 

[SEAHUNT186]

Thanks for the responses you have sent. Right now my father is over there trying to get the parents straight and get them on the right track. If not, he will personally turn it into CPS. If so, we will be glad to take her in and give her the care she needs.
Thanks again, I'll keep you informed.

Steve

 

[texacajun]

Steve-

I admire you for your concern for the girl....it says a lot about your character. Not many know this on this board but I have custody of my 3 sons and it was a long hard and very expensive road to get custody of them even though my ex was...well lets just say she was a cheeseburger shy of a happy meal!!!

I guess what I am getting at is it is very hard to take parental rights away from a parent, even if they are screwed up. I would IMO document all you can and get proof and evidence of all you can. You may need that to get her away from all that mess. Even though she is old enough to choose where she resides, it is up to the judge to decide that, and I'm pretty sure the parents would have to be proven unfit if they contest the move.

I would remain diligent on this, because like someone said earlier, you may be all that stands between good and evil. If you need help of any sort, just let me know. I know we don't know each other but from your posts and your pics, I know your a good person. My hats off to you for your compassion for her.

Mike

 

[fishbowl365]

please keep us posted.

 

[luv2fish]

I am working with CPS about my grandson as we speak, the first thing they will ask you is if you are willing to have her. They do follow through. Sometimes it does not go as fast as we want it.But pray and have the Lord direct you. And pray that HIS will be done here.