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Gulf Coast (after-hurricane) Humor

829 Views 6 Replies 5 Participants Last post by  cfish
Received this in an email, hope it's not a repeat. Great insight, LOL!

You know you're from the Gulf Coast when....

1. You have FEMA's number on your speed dialer.
2. You have more than a hundred 'C' and 'D' batteries in your kitchen drawer.
3. Your pantry contains more than 20 cans of Spaghetti-Os.
4. You are thinking of repainting your house to match the plywood covering your windows.
5. You are on a first-name basis with the cashier at Home Depot.
6. You are delighted to pay $5 for a gallon of regular unleaded.
7. The road leading to your house has been declared a No-Wake Zone.
8. You decide your patio furniture looks better on the bottom of the pool.
9. You own more than three large coolers.
10. You can wish that other people get hit by a hurricane and not feel the least bit guilty about it.
11. You rationalize helping a friend board up by thinking 'It'll only take a gallon of gas to get there and back.'
12. You have 2-liter coke bottles and milk jugs filled with water in your freezer.
13. Three months ago you couldn't hang a shower curtain; today you can assemble a portable generator by candlelight.
14. You catch a 13-pound redfish - in your driveway.
15. You can recite from memory whole portions of your homeowner's insurance policy.
16. At cocktail parties, women are attracted to the guy with the biggest chainsaw.
17. You have had tuna fish more than 5 days in a row.
18. There is a roll of tar paper in your garage.
19. You can rattle off the names of three or more meteorologists who work at the Weather Channel.
20. Someone comes to your door to tell you they found your boat.
21. Ice is a valid topic of conversation.
22. Your 'drive-thru' meal consists of MRE's and bottled water.
23. Relocating to South Dakota does not seem like such a crazy idea.
24. You spend more time on your roof than in your living room.
25. You've been laughed at over the phone by a roofer, fence builder or a tree worker.
26. A battery powered TV is considered a home entertainment center.
27. You don't worry about relatives wanting to visit during the summer.
28. Your child's first words are 'hunker down.'
29. Having a tree in your living room does not necessarily mean it's Christmas.
30. Toilet Paper is elevated to 'coin of the realm' at the shelters.
31. You know the difference between the 'good side' and the 'bad side 'of a storm.
32. You go to work early and stay late just to enjoy the air conditioning.
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Some hilarious responses we got when this was posted on a different website:

Things IKE taught me…

1. Coffee, frozen pizza and even rice can be grilled on a BBQ grill.

2. Hot Pockets taste pretty good deep fried on the outdoor cooker!

3. My car gets 23.21675 miles per gallon, EXACTLY (you can ask the people in line who helped me push it).

4. He who has the biggest generator wins.

5. A new method of non-lethal torture - showers without hot water.

6. There are a lot more stars in the sky than most people thought.

7. TV is an addiction and the withdrawal symptoms are painful.

8. A 7lb bag of ice will chill 6-12 oz Budweiser's to a drinkable temperature in 11 minutes, and still keep a 14 lb. turkey frozen for 8 more hours.

9. There are a lot of dang trees around here.

10. Flood plain drawings on some mortgage documents were seriously wrong..

11. People will get into a line that has already formed without having any idea what the line is for.

12. Cell phones work when land lines are down, but only as long as the battery remains charged.

13. Hampers were not made to contain such a volume.

14. If my store sold only ice, chainsaws, gas and generators - I'd be rich.

15. Waterfront property can quickly become someone else's fishing hole.

16. Tree service companies are underappreciated.

17. I learned what happens when you make fun of another states' blackout.

18. MATH 101: 30 days in month, minus 6 days without power equals 30% higher electric bill ?????

19. Drywall is a compound word, take away the 'dry' part and it's worthless.

20. I can walk a lot farther than I thought.

21. It is a great time to teach the children the fine art of gambling (penny ante poker) card playing.

22. You can never have too many gas cans!

23. If you fill the bathtubs with water, the water will not go off.

24. Seven (7) dogs that do not normally live together still do not get along during a hurricane…they have no comprehension of sharing.

25. Neighbors are much more sociable when they are sharing a generator.

26. Two-year-old canned beets taste better than you’d think.

27. Just because it is dark and you are in the privacy of your bedroom doesn’t mean we can’t hear what you are doing in there because our windows are open too.

28. What looks acceptable by candlelight in your bathroom will scare you when you look at yourself in the mirror at the office.

29. Peanut butter and jelly is a perfectly acceptable meal for breakfast, lunch and dinner in the same day.

30. Don’t shun those who use Tylenol PM or Advil PM to get through 11-hour nights.

31. That neighbor who knows how to use a chainsaw is your new best friend.

32. Ice is a form of currency.

33. Coming home from work with a pizza and a charged-up laptop so the kids can watch a DVD makes you a hero.

34. Hair can dry without a blow dryer, but it may not look the way you planned.

35. The storm treasures your kids are finding really belong to your neighbors.

36. Baseball caps go with any post-hurricane ensemble.

37. You can’t train yourself not to flip on light switches when entering a room.

38. It’s easier to ignore a dirty floor when you can’t see it.

39. A new opening phrase when seeing someone: “Got lights yet?”
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Your child's first words are "hunker down"

Something we discovered:

There will be jubilent shouting and dancing in the streets when the power is restored to your neighborhood. But it will be followed by moans and groans when the power flickers back off a few moments later.
And Ms B we will all be whining about our high $$$ light bills WHEN we finally get our power back on and get next months bill . LOL

Taught me not to complain. :) I would rather have AC.
Those were too funny! Ice is form of currency-that's top shelf material.
Loved the 7 dogs one,is exactly how many we had durning this and we had to shift groups from inside to outside as of corse-they did not all get along.
Also we were trying to teach the 9 month old how to say hunker down...lol.
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