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2004 Democratic National Convention Schedule of Events
>
> 6:00 pm - Opening Flag burning ceremony.
>
> 6:10 pm - Opening secular prayers by Rev Jesse Jackson and Rev. Al
> Sharpton.
>
> 6:30 pm - Anti-war concert by Barbara Streisand.
>
> 6:40 pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
>
> 7:00 pm - Tribute theme to France.
>
> 7:10 pm - Collect offerings for al-Zawahri defense fund.
>
> 7:25 pm - Tribute theme to Germany.
>
> 7:45 pm - Anti-war rally (moderated by Michael Moore)
>
> 8:25 pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
>
> 8:30 p m - Terrorist appeasement workshop.
>
> 9:00 pm - Gay marriage ceremony (both male and female couples)
>
> 9:30 pm - *intermission*
>
> 10:00 pm -Posting the Iraqi Colors by Sean Penn and Tim Robbins.
>
> 10:10 pm - Re-enactment of Kerry's fake medal toss.
>
> 10:20 pm - Government Ethics workshop by Bill Clinton.
>
> 10:40 pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
>
> 10:50 pm - Pledge of allegiance to the UN.
>
> 11:00 pm - Multiple gay marriage ceremony (threesomes, mixed and
> same-sex).
>
> 11:15 pm - Maximizing Welfare workshop.
>
> 11:30 pm - 'Free Saddam' pep rally.
>
> 11:57 pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
>
> 11:59 pm - Ted Kennedy falls over the rail, leaving a seismic hole in
> the
> floor below.
>
> 12:00 pm - Nomination of Democratic ticket.
> ************************************************************************
> ************************************************************************
> **************************************************
>
> REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE
>
> 6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell
>
> 6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
>
> 6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)
>
> 6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
>
> 6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting your kid a military deferment
>
> 7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries 7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury, it's what's
> for dinner.
>
> 8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
>
> 8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
>
> 8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your children
>
> 8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)
>
> 8:50 PM Seminar #2: Corporations: The government of the future
>
> 9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' That Man"
>
> 9:10 PM EPA Address #2: Trees: The real cause of forest fires
>
> 9:30 PM Break for secret meetings
>
> 10:00 PM Second prayer led by Cal Thomas
>
> 10:15 PM Lecture by Karl Rove: Doublespeak made easy
>
> 10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho
>
> 10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare.
>
> 10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory Kevlar chastity belt
>
> 10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of Black Republicans
>
> 10:46 PM Seminar #3: Education: a drain on our nation's economy.
>
> 11:10 PM Hillary Clinton Piñata
>
> 11:20 PM Second Lecture by John Ashcroft: Evolutionists: The dangerous
> new cult
>
> 11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again.
>
> 11:35 PM Blame Clinton
>
> 11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies
>
> 11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself
>
> 12:00 PM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord
 
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