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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
> >>Excerpts from a Dog's Diary

> >>6:00 am - At last! I Go Pee! My favorite thing!

> >>8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

> >>9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

> >>9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

> >>10:30am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

> >>12:00pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

> >>1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

> >>3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

> >>5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

> >>6:00 pm - They're home! My favorite thing!

> >>7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

> >>8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

> >>11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!



> >>Excerpts from a Cat's Diary

> >>Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with

> >>bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,

> >>while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry

> >>nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly

> >>clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my

> >>strength. The only >thing that keeps me going is my dream of

> >>escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the

> >>carpet.



> >>Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their

> >>feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since

> >>it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely

> >>made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

> >>Unbelievable!



> >>There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was

> >>placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.

> >>However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard

> >>that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must

> >>learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.



> >>Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my

> >>tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try

> >>this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced

> >>that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

> >>The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and

> >>seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

> >>The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with

> >>the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move.

> >>My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated

> >>cell, so he is safe. For now...
 

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Kayak Fisher
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It's an old one, but I ALWAYS enjoy reading it. It's hilarious! It really captures the essence of the animals, doesn't it? LOL!
 
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