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Insert something "Witty" here!
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I was reading the thread "Todays Darwin Award Winner" thread and thought we could start a thread about wild, crazy, unbelievable police stories. A place for some of the strangest things ya'll have encountered as LEO's. I am not a LEO so i have no story to start it off. Maybe one of ya'll could. Just a thought.
 

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Jedi Knight and Friend to Captain Solo
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17,027 Posts
I've used Jedi mind tricks to get out of tickets for driving too slow. :eek:
 

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The Thread Killer
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1,350 Posts
I am a dispatcher not a cop, but one night I took a call around 3am a woman said there was a strong smell gas in her house, I told her to get everone out and I will send the fire dept, she said she didnt want to wake her kids, and that she has been lighting matches all around the house and cant find the gas leak.

another night took a 911 call from a woman asking me to send an officer out to tell the frogs next door in her neighbors pool to be quite.
 

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At the gym
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4,704 Posts
I was in Santa Fe Monday going to my second job. I just took a left off of 1764 onto HWY 6. As I was approaching the school at Ave. T, I notice the school zone lights flashing.

Well then I saw a cop (Santa Fe) sitting on the West bound lane shooting radar. Now school is out for the Christmas break and it is obvious the school zone lights were not shut off for this.

So I am wondering......was he really sitting there waiting to bust someone in the school zone for speeding? Technically since the lights were flashing, you must slow down, but does this apply for when school is obviously out?

But if that is what he was doing, shooting radar, then that is just plain wrong and he must have really wanted to be money grabbing for Santa Fe.
 

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I had to shoot an African Lioness in Crystal Beach once when I was a rookie...

That was like 15 years ago and I got a "hate mail" under a burn handle here on this site about a year ago about it attacking me...

Some people man.... LOL!!

Also have had on a couple of ocassions, people call me to report a theft and wanted me to arrest someone who stole their money after not bringing them the dope they tried to buy (yes, more than once this happened)

Have also had a number of ocassions where I was at a sto-n-rob store at 2:30am getting coffee....Patrol car sitting right in front of the store and had drunks drive up to the store and actually STUMBLE into the store to buy whatever...

You would think they would drive to one WITHOUT cop cars in front of it huh?

Had a guy one time that I arrested and when I was walking him to the car, on a DRY day, I heard his shoes "squish"... At that time, I was a little seasoned and knew this was a BAD thing... Took him to the hospital and when they pulled his sock off (which had grown INTO his leg) one of his toes came off with the sock.

AND the greatest one of all (And other officers will tell you the this too I am sure)...

Stop a guy, shake him down, find a handful of crack rocks in his pocket and his (their) explanation was ...

"These aint my pants"

I really should write a book!! Truth is stranger than fiction!!
 
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2,362 Posts
When I dispatched for HPD I got a disturbance call from a woman that was mad because a vacum cleaner salesman vacumed a portion of her living room floor and refused to vacum the whole living room.
 

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Saved by Jesus Blessed by God
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2,767 Posts
made a suspicious vehicle call one evening in the
back of Atascocita. Found a couple on a deserted street
in the back seat of their car. Had them get dressed and step
out of the car.Placed the male in my patrol car while I talked
to the female to make sure she was there of her own free will.
I asked her if everything was OK her response was
WELL IT WAS TILL YOU SHOWED UP!! :eek:
 

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In the snake den
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2,908 Posts
I was in Santa Fe Monday going to my second job. I just took a left off of 1764 onto HWY 6. As I was approaching the school at Ave. T, I notice the school zone lights flashing.

Well then I saw a cop (Santa Fe) sitting on the West bound lane shooting radar. Now school is out for the Christmas break and it is obvious the school zone lights were not shut off for this.

So I am wondering......was he really sitting there waiting to bust someone in the school zone for speeding? Technically since the lights were flashing, you must slow down, but does this apply for when school is obviously out?

But if that is what he was doing, shooting radar, then that is just plain wrong and he must have really wanted to be money grabbing for Santa Fe.
My mom got pulled over in Bunker Hill Village here in Houston for speeding in a school zone near St. Cecilia even though it was a holiday. She then called and went to the station and it was immediately dropped. I don't see how it can be a school zone if there is no school...
 

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Hector
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1,019 Posts
I would not know where to start....sad, funny, tragic, gross, disgusting & perverted, etc. etc......there are so many to tell. Pick one of these descriptors....and I'll tell. -Hector
 

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Screw it. Lets ride!
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3,259 Posts
I would not know where to start....sad, funny, tragic, gross, disgusting & perverted, etc. etc......there are so many to tell. Pick one of these descriptors....and I'll tell. -Hector
You should hear some of our ER stories! Thats for another thread though. :rotfl:
 

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Hector
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1,019 Posts
Perverted and Sad....
Perverted & Sad...let's see, why on earth did you have to pick "those two?" lol!...I'll tell you one combined: On a traffic stop, I busted a 30 something year old "pervert" trying to get "something" from a 14 year old. I mean, his pants were literally undone and when I asked him for his DL he reached into his front pocket and his pants literally "fell off" with his "you know what" literally standing there. Pretty disgusting and the "pervert" was "sad" when I took him to jail! ha! ha!

As for separate, here's a "perverted" one: I walked up on a vehicle with a guy sitting in the park after hours. He was butt naked with his clothes shoved over the back of his seat and his "you know what" was standing there. What disgusted me was not that he was there looking for love in all the wrong places but there was this small dog cowering down on the passenger side floorboard as scared as it could be. The poor thing had its tail was up between its legs with its ears folded down and whimpering in fear. To give you an idea why the dog was scared....the only thing between this naked dude and the scared dog was an opened bottle of "intimate motion lotion!"

Changing gears here but..."Sad"...well, here's one of the many....let's just say that I still try to forget the day that this beautiful 4 year old boy died right there in front of us after being ran over by an SUV in an apartment parking lot. I remember getting really P.O.'d 'cause his father did not seem to really care all that much and as a matter of fact, he went back to playing dominoes when the ambulance and fire department left. It really affected me and when I came home, I "hugged" my son like you would not believe. It drove my wife nuts 'cause I would not tell her what happened and all I wanted to do was hold my son that night who was just a few months younger than that boy who just died.

I remember actually crying myself to sleep that night holding my son 'cause you start to wonder about everything in life this young child missed out on. His first ball game, his first "boo boo," riding a bike,
his first girlfriend or first day in school ...you know, all the stuff that us parents would experience with our children and make ourselves available for. Well, most of us anyway 'cause his dad seemed to be a real POS. Yeah, I called him a POS and If he ever reads this, I hope he knows that I still "cry" from time to time thinking about his boy because it didn't seem to be a job that he wanted or was man enough to endure. -Hector

P.S. I do have more....if you can pick other topics..
 

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Fishing :you must be present to win.
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2,161 Posts
have any of you LEO's ever chased a big naked white guy through a whataburger? LOL that was me about 18 years ago. I swear it was not my fault as I was supposed to only run through once and be picked up on the other side. I did not know there was no door on the other side! It must have sucked getting out run by me, 319lbs bwahahahaha they call me the white ghost! : ) :spineyes: :brew: :eek:
 

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Screw it. Lets ride!
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3,259 Posts
Well, most of us anyway 'cause his dad seemed to be a real POS. Yeah, I called him a POS and If he ever reads this, I hope he knows that I still "cry" from time to time thinking about his boy because it didn't seem to be a job that he wanted or was man enough to endure. -Hector

P.S. I do have more....if you can pick other topics..
POS is giving that guy too much credit... Sad indeed. Sorry you had to go through that.
 

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Chest deep in the Blanco River
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1,838 Posts
have any of you LEO's ever chased a big naked white guy through a whataburger?
No, but my Lt and I were at a whataburger one night in 1983 and saw the cook spit in Lt's burger while he was making it. I had to fight Lt to keep him from killing him.
 
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