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1) NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'


2) OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents .'

3) KETCHUP A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone.. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.'

4) MORE NUDITY

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'

5) POLICE

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked. 'It sure is,' I replied.

Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'
 

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Real life story...

My (ex) wife is having lunch with our son at school during 1st grade back in the 90’s. She sits next to him and a group of classmates...a bunch of 6 year old boys.

They’re doing kid small talk and then start talking about what is on TV. One boy describes how he saw two girls kissing on TV last night. Another boy says, “that is so gay”. Then another boy blurts out, “they’re not gay, they’re Lesbians”!

The wife almost choked on her food. She told me the story when she got home and we couldn’t stop laughing. How many 6 year olds know the meaning of Lesbian and can use the word properly to point out a difference?


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Grem's Guide Service
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When my daughter was 10 we were watching "Doomsday Preppers". My daughters Mom left when she was 9 months old so it has just been her and I her whole life. I also havent bought meat at the grocery store since 1997. All wild game and fish. So she is watching this show and this family is spending 6-8 hrs a day prepping food and burying survival gear and all of their furniture is made out of 55 gallon barrels of water etc.

My sweet, beautiful, thoughtful, considerate, Christian lil 10 year old daughter looks at me and says "Daddy why are they doing all that? Dont they know how to hunt and fish?"

I said "I dont know baby"

She thinks a second and says "....well Daddy if anything really does go bad....you and me we are just gonna have to kill them first and take all that stuff."

Lol she has her plan figured out. As a Daddy I didn't know of that was a high five moment or if we needed a counselor. I just laughed and said that's hardcore....dont say that at school.
 
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