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Equine connoisseur
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2,259 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
CHILDREN
For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.


For those who have children this age, this is not funny.

For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.

For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

READ to the end!!

The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas:

Things I've learned from my Children (honest & no kidding):

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house
4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3 year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman
cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread
paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft.room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times
before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit
by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already
too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year
old.

11. Playdough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still
can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show
they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on--plastic toys do not
like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin, TX, has a 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms
dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful.
First grade...true story:
One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three
Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the
first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home.
She read: "And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full
of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to
build my house?'"
The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that
man said?"
One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said ... 'Holy
****! A talking pig!'"
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

25. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake
fluid.
 

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2006 Skeeter Cookoff "2nd Place Brisket"
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6,428 Posts
25. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake
fluid.
Dang, I found a new way to kill skeeters.....LMAO
 

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CantRe Member
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782 Posts
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say 80% of the men in here will do it....LOL


I'm gonna try as soon as I get home
 

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From the old school
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1,406 Posts
Haaaaahaa I was just thinking where is that break fluid in the workshop
and that bottle of clorox
 

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Registered
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10,637 Posts
Joker, I was thinking, do I have any clorox at home? I know I have brake fluid. Does it do the same with tranny fluid? or any other fluid in the garage? Not to mention the dust bunnies and hairspray thing......
 

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5,599 Posts
Im gonna go try right now Ill post up with pics........................................later,Dave

no luck I could only find power steering fluid, and it didnt do anything
 

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Premium Member
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40,471 Posts
I am also guilty

does that really work?? Come on, someone post up before I go and do something and get a Darwin Award!
 

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Registered
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5,599 Posts
J stop by on your way home and Ill give you some clorox........................later,Dave
 

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Registered
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5,599 Posts
Take pics J...................................................later,Dave
 

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Unrecoverable Saltoholic
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472 Posts
That's too funny. I thought the same dang thing about the brake fluid and clorox as soon as I read it. And I have both. LOL.

Think I'll let J try it tho.....

Tsip
 

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Old yellow member
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2,273 Posts
heck with the bleach thing

I want to know why Play-Do and the Microwave are not to be in the same sentence. :rotfl:

Obiviosley I don't have kids and can try that one, anyone want to give it a shot.

FN
 

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Premium Member
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40,471 Posts
OK, I got smoke...LOL

and it turned hard as a rock...LOL

OK, I'm bored and just in a mood. I wish my U40 and Flexcoat had arrived today so I could spend some of this energy on finishing up my rods.......
 

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Registered
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321 Posts
Hth

Hey,

I work around HTH,the stuff that they put in swimming pools.Try putting a little of this in the break fluid.Ibet you'll get smoke and maybe a fire so watch out were you try this.
 

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Still a write in candidate HOMER '16
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2,582 Posts
Shoud change the title of the post to: What not to tell grown men.

Hey yall watch this..........
Josh
 
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