[Guest]

God Loves Blondes

A blond Texas fisherwoman who shall go unnamed, finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in serious financial trouble. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray. . . "God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I
don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lottery."

Lottery night comes and somebody else wins it. Our blonde again prays. . .

God, please let me win the lottery! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well." Lottery night comes and she still has no luck.
Once again, she prays. . .

"My God, why have you forsaken me?? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lottery this one time so I can get my life back in order."

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and our blonde anglerette is confronted by the voice of God Himself. . .

"How about meeting Me halfway on this. Buy a ticket."

 

[Guest]

Blonde One Liners

Did you hear about the blonde that put lipstick on her forehead so she could make up her mind?

Did you hear that they found another "Heaven Gates" cult member? Yea...it was a blonde and she was under the sink looking for the comet!

Did you hear about the blonde that threw away her weight loss video because she noticed that the people on the video were not losing weight either?

Q: Why can't you tell blondes knock-knock jokes? A: Because they go answer the door.

Q: Why is it a blonde can not have more than a 10 minutes lunch break? A: Because otherwise you have to retrain her.

Q: What do you call a couple of blondes in the front seat of a car? A: Air Bags.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who got a pair of water-skis? A: She's still looking for a lake with a slope.

Q: There were three third graders walking down the street a redhead, brunette, and a blonde. Which one had the best figure? A: The Blonde, she was 18.

Q: What did the blonde call her pet zebra? A: Spot.

Q: How do blonde's brain cells die? A: Alone.

Q: How do you make a one arm blonde fall out of a tree? A: Wave to her!

Q: What do you call blondes in a freezer? A: Frosted Flakes!

Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was going to have a baby? A: I hope it's mine.

Q: Why did the blonde turn into the ditch? A: She left her blinker on!

Q: How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? A: You knock on the door.

Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted.

Q: What do you call a brunette standing between two blondes? A: An interpreter.

Q: How does a blonde get hurt raking leaves? A: She falls out of the tree!

Q: Did you hear the one about the blonde who had a bumper sticker that said, "ALL BLONDES AREN'T DUMB?" A: No one could read it because it was hung upside-down.

Q: Why did the blonde climb over the chain-link fence? A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to kill herself? A: She jumped out a basement window.

Q: Why can't blondes pass their driving tests? A: Because every time the car stops they jump in the back seat.

Q: Did you hear the one about the blonde fox that got stuck in a trap? A: She chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

Q: What's an intelligent blonde? A: A Golden Retriever.

Q: What did they call the blonde that was found dead in the closet? A: The 1994 Hide and Go Seek Champion.

Q: How can you tell when a blonde has been baking chocolate chip cookies? A: There's M&M Shells all over the floor.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who died drinking milk? A: The cow fell on her.

Q: What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? A: They are both empty from the neck up!

Q: Why does a blonde keep a wire coat hanger in the back seat of her car? A: In case she locks her keys in.

Q: Did you hear how the Blonde Hockey Team drowned? A: Spring Training.

Q: What do you call a blonde in a business suit, sitting on a tree, holding a briefcase? A: A branch manager

Q: Why did the blonde snort Sweet-n-Low? A: She thought it was Diet Coke.

Q: What does a blonde say after two more years of college? A: Would you like fries with that?

Q: What was the last thing a blonde heard before dying of old age? A: "Today children, we will learn our ABC's..."

Q: What do you call a blonde with a leather jacket? A: A rebel without a clue.

Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde with a postal worker? A: A floozy with an Uzi.

Q: Why did the Blond wear high-heel shoes? A: She was once told by her mother to never sell herself short.

Q: What goes stop, go, stop, go, stop, go? A: A blonde at a flashing red light.

Q: What happened to the Blonde Tap Dancer? A: She fell in the sink.

Q: What's the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot? A: Maybe someday, we'll find bigfoot.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Put her in a round room, and tell her to sit in a corner.

Q: What did the blond say when her boyfriend blew in her ear? A: Thanks for the refill, honey.

Q: Why don't blondes ever eat pickles? A: Because they can't ever get their heads out the jar!

Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear with a hose at the end? A: An air compressor.

Q: What do you call a line of blondes standing ear to ear. A: A wind tunnel.

Q: Why do blondes leave empty milk cartons in the fridge? A: In case someone wants black coffee.

Q: Why are blonde jokes so stupid? A: So brunettes can get them!

Q: What do you call a blonde in an institute for higher learning? A: A visitor.

Q: What do you call an eternity? A: Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.

Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes? A: Toes Go In First.

Q: What do SMART Blondes and UFO's have in common? A: You always hear about them but never see them.

Q: What did the Blonde say when she opened the box of Cheerios? A: Oh look, Daddy... Doughnut seeds.

Q: Why did the Blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice? A: Because it said concentrate.

Q: Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms? A: They think their picture is being taken.

Q: How can you tell when a Blonde sends you a fax? A: It has a stamp on it.

Q: Why can't Blondes dial 911? A: They can't find the 11 on the phone!

Q: Why shouldn't Blondes have coffee breaks? A: It takes too long to retrain them.

A Blonde and a brunette were walking outside when the brunette said, "Oh look at the dead bird." The Blonde looked skyward and said, "Where, where?"

Q: How do you drown a Blonde? A: Put a scratch & sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.

Q: Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one? A: You have to hollow out the head.

Q: How do you get a twinkle in a Blonde's eye? A: Shine a flashlight in her ear.

Q: Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio? A: It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.

Q: What happened to the blonde Ice Hockey Team? A: They drowned in Spring Training.

Q: What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA? A: "Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong!"

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? A: Tell her joke on Wednesday.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been on the computer? A: There is Whiteout on the screen.

Q: How can you tell if she has been on again? A: She has left cheese for the mouse.

Q: Do you know what is black and blue and found in a ditch? A: A man who told one to many blonde jokes.

 

[Snagged]

What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? Pregnant.

 

[Guest]

Blonde Kidnapping

A blonde, out of money and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold her for ransom.

She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, "I've kidnapped you."

She then wrote a big note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides on the south side of the playground.

Signed, A blonde."

The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent her home to show it to her parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"

 

[Guest]

You might be a ******* if. . .

You might be a ******* if. . .

you drive your truck through a metal detector and. . .

it doesn't go off.

 

[Copzilla]

You might be a ******* if...

You flatten a tire on your truck, and you borrow a tire from your house.

 

[Guest]

Can Cold Water Clean Dishes?

A man went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural
area of west Texas. After spending the night, his grandfather prepared
breakfast for him consisting of eggs and bacon.

He noticed a film -- like substance on his plate and he questioned his
grandfather...."are these plates clean?" His grandfather replied, "Those
plates are as clean as cold water can get them, so go on and finish your
meal".

That afternoon, while eating the hamburgers his grandfather made for lunch,
he noticed tiny specks around the edge of his plate, and a substance that
looked like dried egg yokes..... so he ask again, "Are you sure these
plates are clean"?

Without looking up from his hamburger, the grandfather says, "I told you
before; those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don't ask
me about it anymore!"

Later that afternoon, he was on his way out to get dinner in a nearby town.
As he was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl and wouldn't let
him pass so he said, "Grandpa, your dog won't let me out."
Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV
his grandfather shouted ." COLDWATER, Go lay down!

:rybka: (Been there; Done that!)

 

[ChickFilet]

Extreme *******

You ARE An EXTREME ******* When.....



1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.


2. Your truck's Blue Book value goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

5. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, yal, watch this."

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9. Your junior prom offered day care.

10. You think the "Star-Spangled Banner's" last words are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

 

[Guest]

A blonde dog joke

As a butcher is shooing a yellow lab from his shop, he sees a $10 bill and a note in her mouth. The note reads: "My name is Lucy. I want $10 worth of lamb chops, please." Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog's mouth, and quickly closes the shop. He follows the dog and watches her wait for a green light, look both ways, and trot across the road to a bus stop. The dog checks the timetable and sits on the bench. When a bus arrives, she walks around to the front and looks at the number, then boards the bus. The butcher follows, dumbstruck.

As the bus travels out into the suburbs, the dog takes in the scenery. After awhile she stands on her back paws to pull the "stop" cord, then the butcher follows her off. The dog runs up to a house and drops her bag on the stoop. She goes back down the path, takes a big run, and throws herself - Whap! - against the door. She does this
again and again. No answer. So she jumps on a wall, walks around the garden, scratches her paw against a window, jumps off, and waits at the front door. A big old guy opens it and starts cursing and pummeling the dog.

The butcher runs up screams at the guy, "What are you doing? This dog's a genius!"

The owner responds, "Genius, my foot! It's the second time this week she's forgotten her key."

 

[Galveston Yankee]

The Artist


One of our local ********, Billy Joe Bob, while a total idiot was a gifted portrait artist. His fame grew and soon people from all over the country were coming to him for paintings.

One day, a beautiful young woman pulled up to his house in a stretch limo. She asked Billy Joe Bob if he could paint her in the nude. This was the first time anyone had made this request.

The beautiful lady said money was no object,
she was willing to pay $50,000.
Not willing to get into trouble with his wife,
Billy Joe Bob asked the lady to wait while he went in the house and conferred with this wife.

In a few minutes he returned and told the lady he was willing to do it. However, he would have to leave his socks on so he would have some place
to wipe his brushes!!

 

[Galveston Yankee]

The Helpful Blonde

A blonde lady motorist was two hours from Busch Gardens when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to Tampa?"

"Sure am," answered the blonde, "do you need a lift?"

"Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My
problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be delivered
to the Busch Gardens Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you fifty dollars for your trouble."

"I'd be happy to," said the blonde. So the two chimpanzees were ushered into
the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat
belts.

Off they went.

Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of Tampa
when suddenly he was horrified!!

There was the blonde walking down the street and holding hands with the two
chimps, much to the amusement of the crowd.

With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde.
"What the heck are you doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you fifty dollars
to take these chimpanzees to the zoo."

"Yes, I know you did," said the blonde, but we had money left over---so we
went to the movies!!!

 

[gutbustinfunny]

The Funniest Blonde Joke I've Ever Heard!!

There were two blondes, and they had just come from a store. The blonde that owned the mustang had locked her keys in the car. She was trying to pick the lock when she stopped to rest for a second. When she sat down, her friend said, "Hurry up, it's starting to rain and the tops down!"

For more great blonde jokes visit www.gutbustinfunny.com

 

[Guest]

Idiots

IDIOTS IN SERVICE

This week, our phones went dead and I had to contact the telephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?" I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to do that since our phones weren't working.

IDIOTS AT WORK:

I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: cars were hitting too many deer and she didn't want them to cross there anymore.

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:

I went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. I asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

IDIOT SIGHTING #1:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" She smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

IDIOT SIGHTING #2:

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with a co-worker when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?"

IDIOT SIGHTING #3:

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often."
Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

IDIOT SIGHTING #4:

I worked with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

IDIOT SIGHTING #5:

When I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up my car, I was told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."

 

[Guest]

Kids These Days

The following questions and answers were collected from tests given to 16 year old students. One of them may be the President someday.

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an
election.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the
borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E,I,O and U.

Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.

Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport.

 

[Gottogo]

One day Boudreaux, him, he was sittin in his coffee shop, drinkin a
pop, wen dis grate big fella come in and knocks him off da stool.
The big fella say, "Dat was a karate chop frum Korea."

Boudreaux, him, he don't say nuttin, he jus get back on his stool an
take anudder drink frum his pop.> WHAM!, da big fella knock Boudreaux down agin an say, "Dat was a judo
chop frum Japan."

Boudreaux still don't say nuttin, he jus get up an walk out of dat
coffee shop.



Bout a hour later, Boudreaux come back in an witout sayin nuttin, he
walk up to dat big fella an WHACK! he knock dat big fella off his stool
an knock him out cold. Den Boudreaux tell da manager,

"Mais, wen he wake tell him dat was a crowbar from da Walsmart."

 

[Guest]

A Blonde From Houston

A plane is on its way to Houston when a blonde in Economy Class gets up and moves to the First Class section and sits down.

The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She then tells the blonde that she paid for Economy and that she will have to sit in the back.

The blonde replies: "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Houston and I'm staying right here!"

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and co-pilot that there is a woman sitting in First Class that belongs in Economy and won't move back to her seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for Economy she will have to leave and return to her seat.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Houston and I'm staying right here!"

The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde bimbo who won't listen to reason.

The pilot says "You say she's blonde? I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde."

He goes back to the blonde, whispers in her ear, and she says "Oh, I'm Sorry." and gets up and moves back to her seat in the Economy section.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.

"I just told her, First Class isn't going to Houston."

 

[2busy2fish]

Aggie looking for a retreiver.

An Aggie was in the market for a good retreiver for duck hunting and stopped by the local breeder. He asked the owner if he had a dog that would make a good duck dog. The owner took the Aggie around back and proceeded to show him his inventory. After a little cage shopping the Aggie selected a Black Lab and asked the owner if he could see the dog in action. The owner took the dog out to a pond in the back and toosed a few training decoys. The dog was awsome. The Aggie was impressed and started counting out money to pay for the dog. Just as he got to the last $50 dollars the Aggie remembered that his dad told him that a good duck dog must have a small rectum or he will take on water thus slowing the dog down i. The Aggie explained this to the breeder and asked to see the dogs rectum. Unfortunatley the rectum was larger than the Aggie had hoped for and told the breeder he would have to select another. The breeder was perplexed at first but, thinking quickly he reached around behind the dog and squeezed his testicles. In amazement the rectum shrank to about half it's size!!!! He looked at the Aggie who by now had a smile as big as Texas. I forgot, the breeder said, I had this one set for Quail!!!

 

[crab claw]

2 Aggie Graduates

In the late 1800's Texas A & M had just switched from a liberal arts college to one offering agriculture and mechanical engineering degrees. The two newly minted grads were roommates and after graduating, decided since they had ag. degrees, they would try farming. One of them had an aged grandmother who had recently died and left a farm on the Brazos River.

Since that was prime farming land, they decided to start there. They had housekeeping stuff, but no farming implements, wagon or a team of mules.
So, early one morning, they struck out walking down a path along the river until they came to their neighbor's farm.

Now this farmer saw them coming, in more than one way. They tried to buy his mules, but he couldn't sell since those were the only farm animals he had for farming his land. After discussing all possibilities, and where else they might find a team, he said that if they weren't in a terrible hurry, he might be able to help them. He stated he had 2 "mule eggs" he might sell them.

Hours of discussion, haggling and bargaining took place and finally, the farmer
and the 2 Aggies struck on a price. The farmer goes into his house and brings out two very large Black Diamond watermelons, one under each arm. Now time had passed and the sun was set when they started home.

Walking along the trail along the river wasn't as easy going back in the dark, particularly since there wasn't a wide path and the edges were lined with briars and tall grass. Suddenly, one Aggie stumbled, dropped his melon and it split in several large pieces, one flying into the foliage. This startled a Jack Rabbit who until then was minding his own business. Since it was easier for the Jack to run down the trail, he took off in a cloud of dust. The other Aggie said, "you'd better catch your mule"! So the first Aggie took off in hot pursuit.

The more careful Aggie gets home, puts down his melon and begins to fix supper. Time goes by and around 2 hours pass before the first Aggie returns. He is exhausted, has briar scratches all over and his clothes are in shreads. His friend said, "Didn't catch him, did you". The reply was, " No, but I didn't want to plow that fast anyway!"

 

[Flynm]

7 degrees of blonde





FIRST DEGREE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know - - that's 200 miles from here," and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?"
The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear."

SECOND DEGREE

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."
The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!"
So the first blonde hands her the compact.
The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"

THIRD DEGREE

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun.
She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!"
The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

FOURTH DEGREE

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them."
A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"
The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."

FIFTH DEGREE

What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"

SIXTH DEGREE

Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her U S government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about?
Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."

SEVENTH DEGREE

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcasted the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman."

 

[Bandman]

Cajuns

One day, while fishing under the I-10 bridge in The Atchafalaya Basin,
Boudreaux made a confession.

"We all been friends for tirty year and been tru a lot. I never told ya'll
dis befo 'cause I don't wanna ruin our friendship, but I'm gay."

Fontenot looked over at Thibodeaux and say, "We kinda figured dat out a
while back, but wadn't gonna say nuttin' 'cause we din't wanna embarrass
you".

Boudreaux tanked them for they understand and continued, "Da reason I'm tollin' ya'll dis is 'cause I got AIDS and I got six munt to liv. Ya'll da only family I got lef and I want ya'll to promise me dat yall wont let dem bary me. I'm scared of dem caskets and I wanna be cremate. Den, I want ya'll to trow my ashes from dat bridge up dair into dis swamp where we've spent so much time together." Fontenot and Thibodeaux wiped back a few tears, then agreed to do what their friend as asked.

Sho' nough, six munts later Beoudreaux died, and they were standin on the
bridge with the ashes.

Fontenot was about to trow dem out when Thibodeaux stop him: "Wait,
you gotta say sumtin," he say.

"I donno what to say. I never waz much bout goin' to church" Fontenot
admitted.

Thibodeaux, he scratch his head, "Just say somtin'....anyting, Make it
rhyme."

Fontenot, he tought about it a while and started trowin' dem ashes out over
da swamp and say,
"Ashes to ashes, Dus to dus, if you liked women, You'd be here wit us