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· Senior Member
5,845 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hope this isnt a repeat..but I receive this in an email and tought it was 2 funny.

Anger Management 101

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it
out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on
you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to
make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello."
I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f****** number!"
and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could
so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found
that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an *******!" and hung up.
I wrote his number down with the word '*******' next to it, and put it in
desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really
bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an *******!" It always cheered

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic '*******' calling
would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John
from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our
Caller ID Program?"
He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and
said, "That's because you're an *******!" and hung up.

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking Spot. Some
guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently
for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the
idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I
down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first ******* (I had his
number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW *******, too.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
He said, "Yes, it is." I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?" He
said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax. It's a yellow rambler,
the car's parked right out in front."

I asked, "What's your name?"
He said, "My name is Don Hansen,"
I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
He said, "I'm home every evening after five."
I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
He said, "Yes?"
I said, "Don, you're an *******!"
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had
a problem, I had two ******** to call.

Then I came up with an idea. I called ******* #1. He said, "Hello."
I said, "You're an *******!" (But I didn't hang up.)
He asked, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah,"
He screamed, "Stop calling me,"
I said, "Make me,"
He asked, "Who are you?"
I said, "My name is Don Hansen."
He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?" I said, "*******, I live at 34 Oaktree
Blvd, in Fairfax, a yellow rambler, I have a black Beamer parked in front."

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying
your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, *******," and hung up.

Then I called ******* #2.
He said, "Hello?"
I said, "Hello, *******,"
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
I said, "You'll what?"
He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ***,"
I answered, "Well, *******, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34
Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there to kill my
Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd.
in Fairfax.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax. I got there just in
time to watch two ******** beating the **** out of each other in front of
cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.

NOW I feel much better.
Anger management really does work.
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