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http://talesofhumor.blogspot.com/
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So this youngster (in his 20's) is a laborer and one of the 60+ employees I supervise. He's tough. I mean he is mad dog mean gonna punch King Kong in the mouth tough.... Eats matches and craps fire... all 5'6", 130 soaking wet pounds of him... Boy, he'll tell ya how tough he is if ya give him 2 seconds of to catch a breath...I've never been around someone as tough as this guy... This guy has beat up guys 6'6" and 350 lbs! He knows two wong fu chang ching ying yang karate or sumthin' that sounds like that... Man, he's just a'tellin' me how many fights he's won and how he's the next best thing to Jesus. I tell him about how I used to be in the Army (I was a CFU - Combat Furniture Upholsterer) and then a police officer for a few years.... but I ain't NEVER met anyone as tough as him... even the guys in my secret martial arts class... :wink:

So he asks about my secret martial arts class... I swear him in with a blood code (sans the actual blood) and tell him..

"I can fake injuries. If someone comes up to me and threatens me, I can concentrate just for a second or two and make my nose bleed. If the guy yells at me, I blink my eye so fast I'll actually bruise it and give myself a black eye. So the guy threatening me now sees me standing with a black eye and bloody nose. If he steps to me like he's going to hit me, I can make myself pass out... cold out... and just for effect, make my other eye go black... By this time the guy is scared. All he's done is yell at me and step up to me... if I feel I need to go to another level, while passed out, I can slow my heartbeat and even hold my breath and make my ears bleed. I've actually faked death. There are 3 people on death row for killing me in cold blood... There are lots of other folks in prison for aggravated assault on me but they never touched me..."


He was sure soaking it in up until I got to the death row part.. Then he says "No, you're kidding me, right?"

:idea::doowapsta:idea::doowapsta:work::work::tongue:
 

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http://talesofhumor.blogspot.com/
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4,634 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
That's an awesome story. And if you made it up by yourself, my hat's off to ya.
That is a true story. Usually when some guy starts telling me how tough he is.. I tell him I was either a Combat Furniture Upholsterer or a Combat Dry Cleaner and then go into my talk about the secret martial arts... LOL
 

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It's fish spelled backwards!
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I have met a couple of those "gotta brag about how bad I am" types. And when it came time to deliver, found out they were not, at all. If they gotta broadcast it, it is just a cover. 9 times out of 10. Just watch and see, someday when it comes time to back it up.

funny story. may have to use that.
 

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http://talesofhumor.blogspot.com/
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4,634 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I have met a couple of those "gotta brag about how bad I am" types. And when it came time to deliver, found out they were not, at all. If they gotta broadcast it, it is just a cover. 9 times out of 10. Just watch and see, someday when it comes time to back it up.

funny story. may have to use that.
Yeah, I go by the rule of work though... If you have to tell people how hard you work, you probably aren't working hard.. and if ya have to tell folks what a bad *** you are... well.. I'll just leave it at that... LOL.. I do get a kick out of some of the stories though...He told me about how he went to "the club" the day HE broke up with his girlfriend and took 3 different women home that day and bedded them all.... This guy lives in a ******* palace.. 4 acres of land covered with trash, old equipment, goats and dogs.. and he has a double wide on it that has seen better days... his parents also live with him...

A woman's dream for sure... ROFLMAO
 
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