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Don't make me use UPPERCASE
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Observations on Growing Older

~Your kids are becoming you...and you don't like them
...but your grandchildren are perfect!
~Going out is good.
Coming home is better!
~When people say you look "Great"...
they add "for your age!"
~When you needed the discount you paid full price.
Now you get discounts on everything ....
movies, hotels, flights, but you're too tired to use them.
~You forget names ... but it's OK
because other people forgot
they even knew you!!!
~The 5 pounds you wanted to lose
is now 15 and you have a better chance
of losing your keys than the 15 pounds.
~You realize you're never going
to be really good at anything .... especially golf.
~Your husband is counting on you
to remember things you don't remember.
~The things you used to care to do,
you no longer care to do,
but you really do care that you
don't care to do them anymore.
~Your husband sleeps better on a lounge chair
with the TV blaring than he does in bed.
It's called his "pre-sleep".
~Remember when your mother said
"Wear clean underwear in case you GET in an accident"?
Now you bring clean underwear in case you HAVE an accident!
~You used to say,
"I hope my kids GET married ...
Now, "I hope they STAY married!"
~You miss the days when everything worked
with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch..
~When GOOGLE, ipod, email, modem ...
were unheard of, and a mouse was something
that made you climb on a table.
~You used to use more 4 letter words ....
"what?".."when?" ???
~Now that you can afford
expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere.
~Your husband has a night out with the guys
but he's home by 9:00 P.M. ...next week it will be 8:30 P.M.
~You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you've read it.
~Notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!!
~What used to be freckles are now liver spots.
~Everybody whispers.

~Now that your husband has retired ...
you'd give anything if he'd find a job!
~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet ....
2 of which you will never wear.
~~~~But old is good in some things:
old songs
old movies
And best of all OLD FRIENDS!!
 
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